Companion

Christian Scripture tells us that God wants us to be in community with other Christians. But what do we do when we try to be with others and things just don't work out. This past weekend, I had the pleasure of hanging with friends quite a bit, but it was also marred by experiencing a day without them as well. It's frustrating when we are commanded to enjoy community, but when we try to make that happen, it falls apart.

I have prayed for a loving wife. There are several reasons. Let's be honest, one of them is to feel the warmth of a loving embrace. But I also wish to love her with all of my heart as well. I want to show her how a man of God should love a woman. And I wish to honor God by treating her as a sister in Christ as well as my wife. I also know that it means that I will have to step up and serve her with everything that I am. Perhaps some believe that I have to learn how to serve others and love them before I find a woman to love, but how do I learn to love a woman when there is no woman to love? Is this possible? I don't think that it is possible.

I get frustrated with God because I pray that He would guide me to a loving woman, then He allows me to meet great women, but things don't make sense. Sometimes I see her, and other times when I think that I should, I don't. When I expect to see her, and I don't. Sometimes I get angry with God and I just don't feel like talking to Him about it. I think that we all go through that. I don't want to talk to God about it because I'm angry with Him.

Don't get me wrong. I still love God. I am still loyal to Him. And I'm not going to walk away. But that doesn't mean that I'm not angry with Him.

But maybe that's what He wants me to learn. That even though I'm angry with someone, I'm not going to walk away. I know that even if I do find a loving woman, there will be times when she won't please me. She'll let me down. She'll say or do the wrong thing. She won't say or do the right thing. But I'm not going to walk away. Sometimes you just want to be mad for a while, but you still love that person with all of your heart.