Reflections and Ruminations

2009-11-24T12:09:00.000-08:00

An old movie from Disney is entitled "Atlantis: The Lost Empire". The movie charts the adventure of a group of explorers searching for the lost empire of Atlantis in search of treasure and artifacts. But when the team shows up, there is actually an entire civilization still thriving there. During one part of the movie, several group members along with Princess Kida are before the source of power of Atlantis, which is being guarded by stones representing past rulers. When Kida sees this, a tear falls down her cheek, she acknowledges that they are the kings of her past, and falls to her knees, pressing her face upon the floor of chamber whispering prayers.

There, in that moment, I cannot help but see myself having the same reaction to God. When I stand before Him in all of His glory, what will I do? MercyMe's "I Can Only Imagine" comes to mind. Will we stand in awe of God? Will we fall to our knees in humility? Will we burst into song? Will we even be able to say anything? Would words be enough?

Kida sees the kings of her past and falls to her knees in adoration. I want to be the same when I stand before the Lord. To fall at His feet and worship.

Companion: Reprise

2009-03-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

I heard the speaker's words. I knew that he spoke what God wanted me to hear. My desired companion is not coming. This has become more than a desire - it has become a demand. I demanded it of God. The Master, Teacher, Creator, Savior, Lord. The clay pot has been yelling at the potter and demanding that this be so. But now I see what God has been telling me all along - God wants me. All of me. He does not want half-hearted praise. He wants all of my praise.

For longer than I care to say, I have seen myself as the guy who did not have a companion. I did not have a girl (and in some cases, just a friend), but now I realize the obvious simple truth: I am the guy who honors God above all other things. The Christian - one who is never ashamed of the Cross, and never afraid to discuss my relationship with Christ to others. He should be more than just my first allegiance, He should also be my first love.

Knowing this truly does change my mindset. Now that the mindset has changed, the lifestyle changes, the actions change, the attitude changes, and so many other things.

I am a fan of a certain anime called "Avatar: The Last Airbender". I am certain that I have touched on this before. One of the groups of people are represented by the element of fire. Many consider fire to an element of rage, hate, and anger; but in its true form, as it was meant to be, it is inner calm, self-control, and balance. Fire represents energy and life, not death and destruction.

God wants me to pursue a personal and intimate relationship with Him and let that be my sustenance through everything. I find it hard to believe in something that cannot be seen, but this is the task that has been set before me. The challenge is hard, but people of the element of fire have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want. This may not be the deepest desire of my heart, but I know that it is what I need the most.

The Master of the Universe wants a close, personal, intimate, loving relationship with me. Who am I to refuse?

Companion

2009-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

Christian Scripture tells us that God wants us to be in community with other Christians. But what do we do when we try to be with others and things just don't work out. This past weekend, I had the pleasure of hanging with friends quite a bit, but it was also marred by experiencing a day without them as well. It's frustrating when we are commanded to enjoy community, but when we try to make that happen, it falls apart.

I have prayed for a loving wife. There are several reasons. Let's be honest, one of them is to feel the warmth of a loving embrace. But I also wish to love her with all of my heart as well. I want to show her how a man of God should love a woman. And I wish to honor God by treating her as a sister in Christ as well as my wife. I also know that it means that I will have to step up and serve her with everything that I am. Perhaps some believe that I have to learn how to serve others and love them before I find a woman to love, but how do I learn to love a woman when there is no woman to love? Is this possible? I don't think that it is possible.

I get frustrated with God because I pray that He would guide me to a loving woman, then He allows me to meet great women, but things don't make sense. Sometimes I see her, and other times when I think that I should, I don't. When I expect to see her, and I don't. Sometimes I get angry with God and I just don't feel like talking to Him about it. I think that we all go through that. I don't want to talk to God about it because I'm angry with Him.

Don't get me wrong. I still love God. I am still loyal to Him. And I'm not going to walk away. But that doesn't mean that I'm not angry with Him.

But maybe that's what He wants me to learn. That even though I'm angry with someone, I'm not going to walk away. I know that even if I do find a loving woman, there will be times when she won't please me. She'll let me down. She'll say or do the wrong thing. She won't say or do the right thing. But I'm not going to walk away. Sometimes you just want to be mad for a while, but you still love that person with all of your heart.

His Story

2009-02-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

Every once in a great while, we come across a revelation so obvious and so simple that we wonder why we didn't think about it before. I had one such revelation only a few days ago.

For a long time, I've been frustrated that I haven't had a woman to hold and love. Every guy wants this. After my last post, I think that it becomes obvious that I desire a loving woman. So I've been thinking a lot about who she will be, where I will find her, and how long it will take. I know that 1 Corinthians 13:4 starts off by telling us that "Love is patient", but I'm not a patient person, believe it or not. It takes a lot of practice for me.

But I keep trying to think beyond myself to see the other people around me in my immediate vicinity to help them with their needs. Some of the people that I see are completely wrapped up in themselves. But then, who am I to speak? I continue to think about a woman to have and to hold. It's a noble thing, sure, but when I think about women more than bringing the name of Christ to those who don't know Him, I wonder if it is so noble. I don't think that it's evil that I search for a woman, but I also know that such a search should never come before God. And before the task He has placed before me. Sometimes I get far too selfish and think about myself finding a woman.

But then, this past weekend, something came to me. It opened my eyes. Something so obvious and so simple I wondered why it had not come before.

We are all a part of God's story.

I get so bogged down with finding a woman, and doing well in classes, and practicing Ultimate or martial arts, but then I remember that one truth: we are a part of God's story.

I've studied Astronomy enough to realize that when we compare our planet to the galaxy, we are a grain of sand in a desert. When we compare our galaxy to the rest of the universe, we are a salt crystal in the ocean. Now think about this: God created all of that. My mind can't understand that. I rationalize to myself that there must be another god, or that something else happened, or something, but then I read Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." That's it. He created it. There's no trick, no other god, no secret that we have yet to uncover, even though my mind tries to find one. It's all His. I don't believe in the Creation stories as pieces of historical fact, but I do believe that they are meant to teach us something. I believe that the Creation story in Genesis 1 teaches us of God's sovereignty and power and shows us how small we are compared to Him.

I learned a year ago at Winter Conference with CRU that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. Don't place yourself on a lower level. Think of others more often. God created the Heavens and everything in them. So when I think about everything that He has done, I am truly humbled. Every time I run, He created those muscle systems to work perfectly. As we discover new scientific formulas, He was the One who wrote them. As we look upon the vastness and beauty of the universe, we see what He can do with a paintbrush.

These are His creations. This life, world, universe. They're all about Him anyway. We're just along for the ride. Now that I see things in that perspective, I'm just glad that He decided to allow me to be a part of His story.

I still have a hard time having humility and compassion for others, and I do wait and pray for a loving woman to come into my life, but when I think about the fact that we are part of God's story, I am humbled. Like I said, it's His story, we're just along for the ride.

Sex

2009-01-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

Sex. It's in our culture. It is something that has been used to sell everything from movies to beer to cars. It is inescapable due to our level of technology. It is something that we must deal with. And it is a creation of God.

Christians in the past have viewed sexual desire as a demon that they had to keep at bay. Now it is something that Christians must stay away from (at least until marriage).

But what if we embraced it?

Not the action, but the conversation. People today have placed sex into the category that we should do it all the time with whoever is the hottest and sexiest. Some Christians don't want to talk about it (of course, many have a hard time talking to Christians period), but what if everyone agreed that we, as Christian men and women holy and devoted to a loving God, were open about sex? I don't expect anyone to talk about personal experiences, but people should know that Christians aren't afraid to have sex either. People should know that when they turn their lives over to God, that they are allowed (and in some ways encouraged) to have sex with their spouse. Everyone else talks about sex. Christians shouldn't be afraid to join the conversation.

Let's get started.

As far as sex, Jesus says in Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." There is no way around this.

So yeah, sex outside of marriage is clearly a sin (ALL forms of sex).

But another question still lingers: what about masturbation? Is that a sin?

There is a passage in Genesis 38 about a man named Onan who would not impregnate his brother's widow because he knew that the heir would result in Onan losing some of his inheritance, so Onan "pulled out" and spilled his seed on the ground. God punished him for doing so, but many scholars agree that the sin was not that he pulled out (according to some, he masturbated), but that he did so out of greed for the inheritance. It's not what he did, but why he did it.

So is masturbation a sin?

There are times that I would say yes, but at others time I would say no. If a man looks a woman lustfully, it's sinful. Christ said so (Matt. 5:28). But what about the desire to please a future wife? If a man masturbates not only to release those desires within himself (and avoid greater evils), but so that he is comfortable with his own sexuality when he is united with his wife, is that evil? I cannot convince myself that it is sinful. That is what we are supposed to do: prepare for marriage. As Christians, we prepare for marriage by getting used to living with someone else, helping them with their needs, picking up the kids at school, doing the dishes, laundry, etc. But what about being sexually ready? I can admit that I have done this. I have masturbated. Every man has masturbated in his life (if he tells you otherwise, he's lying). I can admit it because I know that eventually I will stand before God and everything will be stripped away. Would I be ashamed then? One of my greatest desires is to find a woman beautiful in every way and love her as a man should. In Genesis 2:24, Adam and Eve are said to become one flesh. When I love my wife, I hope that every fiber of my being will desire her completely. She will be the one that I cannot live without. She will be the one I yearn to be with, to hold her in my arms, to see the love in her eyes, to feel her skin against mine, to touch the love in her heart and her soul. To be one flesh, one mind, one spirit. That is what I want.

It should be noted that Genesis 2:25 says "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

No shame. That is what I desire with my wife. Masturbation is a way for a person to be comfortable with their own sexual desires.

Make no mistake, those who indulge in sexual behavior are not following Paul when he said that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). But to restrain masturbation to once every month, or few months, isn't that self-control? I think the primary reason that many Christians advise not to start is that it is too easy to fall into temptation, and many people do not possess the control required. There are some who shouldn't. Others will think that they can fool God and others. But they only fool themselves for they will be tried and judged by God.

Christians should not be afraid to talk about sex, masturbation, and if you're bold, even different positions. The rest of our culture talks about, and if we want to bring them to Christ, we have to be willing to speak to them about it.

Christians get squeamish when talking about sex and masturbation, but I think about it, I try to remember the love, passion, and romance that I desire with my future wife.

2008-11-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

Last night, I joined several friends by going out into the country and sitting around a campfire. All of us were simply laughing, having fun, joking around, etc. At one moment, I looked into the fire to see the flames burning the wood. I could not help but think that we are similar to the wood and God is similar to the fire. As long as we remain in Him, then we will be able to spread His light to others around us. Sometimes this burning hurts, but at other times, the warmth of the fire keeps away the cold of the night.

God is always able to influence people as He chooses, and He needs nothing to sustain Himself - He is everlasting on His own - but the more people who are willing to do His will (the more fuel the fire has), the more His love and light can push back the darkness.

I like the idea that I'm similar to fire - the thought that I am powerful, giving light to others. I've known for a while that I'm not, but I keep trying to think that I am. I've known for a while that I should not try to be powerful on my own, but that I should reflect the light that God shines through me. Seeing the analogy of the wood and fire helps me to realize that it's okay to be something other than fire, and even more it is actually good. I am no more than just a block of wood upon a mountain-size pyre, but I give fuel to a mighty flame, that His light, His love, and His power would shine before all.

Alien Salvation

2008-09-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

This concept is much more outlandish than the previous. Most of the previous posts have been about things here. On Earth. But here's a weird thought: what about alien salvation?

Many people say that aliens do not exist, but I happen to believe that they do. I have a logical reason why: the universe is huge.

To prove my point, I'd like to go over some facts.

The speed of light is about 186,000 miles per second. Going at this speed, I have estimated that one could travel around the Earth about seven and a half times in one second. At this speed, it would take over four years to reach the nearest star outside of our system. Also, the width of the Milky Way Galaxy (that's our galaxy if you were uncertain) is about 100,000 lightyears in diameter. Human history records back about 5,000 years (give or take - only written history, fossils go back further). This means that it takes 20 times human history to cross the galaxy going at the same speed that would take you around the Earth seven and a half times in one second! (you may want to read that sentence again just to be sure). Imagine that!

Scientists have discovered an entire universe beyond our galaxy. From that perspective, the Milky Way would be a grain of sand in a desert.

Still think we are alone?

Assuming that an intelligent life form existed, how would they attain salvation? Surely they would have some knowledge of religion, spirituality, or soul. I find it incredibly arrogant to suggest that humans are the only beings in the universe with a soul. I have spoken of this matter to a few others, some having no answer while others affirmed that either aliens don't exist or they would have to accept Jesus Christ. How do you explain that one? Forget language barriers (those can be overcome - in theory). But a different species would be entirely different - not just physically, but also socially, culturally, mentally, spiritually. How do you explain that a man from a different species died to save you from Hell (whatever you call Hell) and if you do not accept Him, then you are doomed to eternal damnation? If an alien told you that, would you believe them?

Didn't think so.

However, assuming that God created all things, including other life forms, then He must have initiated some method of bringing salvation to their souls. A God of love would not leave His creation to death. But how would He do so? Is one soul more important than another? How would He convey salvation. For humans, it's Jesus, but for aliens...what? Do they have to obey certain rules? Do they have to perform so many acts of kindness? Do they have their own personal savior?

I have no answer for the method of salvation for an alien race, but I do believe that such salvation has already been set into place. I'm sure that in His wisdom, God would have figured this one out. I do not believe that any one soul is more important than another. An alien species would not have a purer or holier soul than humans (and vice verse), but each soul would have it's own place in Heaven. Instead of humans on one level with aliens on a higher or lower level, humans and all aliens would share the same level and be in different areas of the "city". Example: humans are in green sector while alien species "X" is in blue sector. Color holds no rank, but simply denotes different sections of the same level. Saints and the like may be placed on higher levels, but that's a different discussion altogether.

These are outlandish theologies, but at the same time, so were many others. Who knows? If you believe that aliens exist (and I clearly do), then someone has to come up with some explanation that represents equality.

This is mine.

Future

2008-09-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

I watched the end of Avatar: The Last Airbender again. Of course, everything turns out wonderfully and everyone is happy and all smiles. But when I thought about it for a moment, I realized something: that's not the true ending. Sure, it's the end of the show and there's no more left to tell, but the truth is that everything that happened during the show has loose ends. After the show is over, the characters still learn things as they continue their lives.

Life in Christ is much the same way. There's no moment at which everything is finished (except at death). I catch myself trying to find that moment where everything in my walk with God makes sense, but the truth is that it's being written with every breath that I take. Even though I may suffer through a valley or feel jubilation at the top of a mountain, the journey always continues.

A relationship with Christ is just that: a relationship. It never stops growing or evolving. It continues to the moment of death - or rather rebirth - and moving into the next world.

So even though there are times that I see myself in struggle, I know that the story does not end. Even in the times where things are going well, the story does not end. Sometimes the thought of knowing that there is more to come in my life helps me get through the day. Knowing that there are more experiences and more adventures sets a relieving calm upon me.

It reminds of Jeremiah 29:11 " 'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'Plans to help you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.' "

Or in the words of Captain Kirk: "Thataway!"

The future. Live it well.

Happiness

2008-09-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I spent most of my time at a Christian retreat. While everyone else appeared to be having fun and enjoying themselves, I felt myself in conflict. Everyone talks about finding their joy completely in the Lord. Philippians 4:4 says "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

I find that verse hard to agree with. I'm not saying that it should never be done, but I believe that it neglects the full range of human emotion. Not every day is filled with joy. Some days are better than others. Some days, everything goes wrong and falls apart. I think that on those days, the best thing to do is not to try to find joy, but peace. Take a breath and relax and remember:

1. God has always loved you for you are.
2. The day has only 24 hours. It will be over soon enough.

Sometimes we get so busy and so hyped up over things that we forget to take a moment of brief pause. We forget - I forget - to be still and know that he is God.

I remember the words that Marcus Lynn (the Pastor at a Church in Versailles, KY) said in one of his sermons: "Sunshine all the time creates a desert."

What I take from what Paul is saying in Philippians is not to abandon all other emotion, but to remember that the hardship that you are going through is just a moment in time. It has come, but will soon pass. So keep your head up. Keep going. Keep trying. And in the moments that you get weighed down, rejoice in the Lord for He loves you. Always.

2008-09-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

The past few days, I have been completely apathetic to the Lord. I would read Scripture, but the words were meaningless. I would pray, but I was talking to thin air. It lost its power. I felt more and more that I simply did not want anything to do with God.

Last night, at worship, it changed.

During one of songs, part of me wanted to sing. Part of me did not. But I chose to sing anyway. Once the song had ended, I heard a voice in my mind saying "No. This one's mine." Though I cannot explain it, I know that it was the voice of the Lord looking at Satan and telling him, "No. This one's mine." I had this image of God holding onto me as Satan tried to pull me away, but the Father would not let go.

In the same instant, I remembered an anime that I have seen. In the story, one character named Zuko is on the run with his uncle Iroh. Through this, we can see how Iroh is much like a father to Zuko. But at a critical moment, Zuko makes a decision that displeases his uncle and later regrets it. But when the two are reunited, Zuko comes forth begging for forgiveness, but Iroh, without saying a word, takes his nephew in his arms and holds him tight.

To combine that with the phrase "No. This one's mine" pierces my heart. For several days, I have felt complete apathy, and I could feel myself drifting farther away from God, but to see the image of Iroh holding his nephew, it filled me with the realization that this is the way that God wants to hold me at every moment.

He gave us this wonderful gift in the form of Jesus Christ just so that when we enter Heaven, He can take us into His arms without saying a word, then look to Satan and say "No. This one's mine."

The Beginning

2008-09-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

The beginning. Good place to start. Sometimes, the only place.

I have so many things to tell you, but for now I hope that it is enough to inform you that I do plan for this to be a religious blog. I hope that it does not scare you away, but I do hope that such ideas and possibilities make you curious.

What would a college student say about God? About Christ?

For anyone who was paying attention, "Theologier" is not a real word. If you choose to write this into one of your English papers, the teacher will most likely ask you to find a dictionary, a computer with spellcheck, or your brain. Perhaps all three. Unfortunately, 'theologian' and 'theologia' were both taken already, so I had to come up with something. Theologier sounded good enough.

Yes, I am a Christian, but I do ask that you keep in mind two things:
One, Christians are not perfect, only forgiven. There are times that I do mess up and make mistakes.
Two, I'm only one college student trying to understand this eternal being that everyone keeps calling "God" for some reason. Some of your philosophies and theologies will agree with mine. Some will not. But do not worry whether or not you and I agree, but worry whether or not we agree with God. As for me, I'm just trying to figure things out.

The name that I have chosen to call myself bears significance. It was not simply picked out at random from the depths of my brain, but rather very carefully from those depths.

"Israel" was the name given to Jacob meaning "one who wrestles with God". The Israelites themselves were constantly disobeying God, then asking for His forgiveness. I too wrestle with God at times, trying to understand why He does some of the things that He does. Poverty, murder, rape. Why are such things allowed to continue?

"Blackdog" was actually a name taken from an anime entitled "Cowboy Bebop". Watch the show, you will understand. To put the meaning of the name into my own words, it means "the one who bites and does not let go". There have been many times that I have wanted to walk away from God and faith, but I know where I would be without Him. I have not let go. I am a black dog.

As for the rest, you will know soon enough.